100 Delight in the Derailment
Hey, it’s episode 100 of Coaching on the Go!
This is Anne with SpiritRiver coaching.
When I started Coaching on the Go, it was to just say what was on my mind without having a long email for you, and just chatting with you for a few minutes while you were walking or running or in your car, or brushing your teeth and getting ready for work.
It was giving you an opportunity to just let some ideas seep into your cranium, to seep into your being in a way where you’re just thinking, where there’s a thought in your mind you’re just thinking about, just letting you ponder.
I love pondering thoughts and ideas.
So the very first serve that I did with this community, my new community, as I’d gathered you through shows and online classes, the first way I offered to serve was this way.
Just to talk with you, to talk at you, to drop some ideas into your head, and here we are at episode 100.
So, whoop whoop!
I’m going to be offering something around this very soon, so stay tuned.
Today we’re talking about when you discover that you are straying off your straight path towards your target vision.
When you head towards something, the fastest way is straight towards it, but often in life, we have things that we get to learn along the way.
And indeed, what many people discover is it’s the journey towards what you want that’s really, really exciting, where the learning happens.
Where everything great happens.
When I’m working on a piece of artwork, it’s not the completed piece that’s so engaging, it’s the process that I’m taking to create it, it’s the creation of it.
So, my message to you is threefold today.
One is you’re on a journey, and when you get knocked off or you end up taking a route that you didn’t imagine, it’s part of the engagement, part of the fascinating process of you expanding.
So be curious, enjoy some delight in the derailment.
Get fascinated with the ways with which your engaged, high-level being finds to deter you from something. What’s behind it, what’s underneath it, what’s going on with it, what’s deeper?
So I found myself procrastinating a few years ago, and what I discovered was I was fearful because it wasn’t clear to me how I could get from point A to point B.
So instead of taking one step at a time, I was thinking too far ahead and I was thinking, “How can I?”
I just couldn’t conceive of how I could get out to my vision point, how I could learn it all.
I hadn’t been there before, what if I failed?
I just overwhelmed myself with details instead of taking the next step, and what that would look like for me was I would just drop the ball and I would derail.
I would over pack my mind and I would just come to a standstill.
So what is it that you are avoiding?
What is that derailment of your path serving you with?
So if you don’t want to do a certain behavior anymore, maybe you’re binge watching television, what is that binge watching giving you?
What is it allowing you a break from?
What is it serving, what’s in it for you?
There’s always something in what you’re doing, there’s always a service.
There is a soothing, there is a not having to face something difficult.
There’s a process in there that you’re wanting to avoid.
What are you getting to avoid by continuing to derail your vision or go against your word on what you wanted to do?
It’s a really intriguing process.
If you can’t discover it, that’s why most of my clients are here with me, and that’s why my programs are year-long at the minimum, because shifting a habit is a big deal.
You have almost a behavioral DNA, I’ll call it, or you’ve created a path.
So in my woods at Spirit River, I have a path.
I picked up on that path, it was already there when I got there, and I continued to reinforce it.
And then I wanted it to go in another direction, and it was quite hard, actually, to get the path to start to wear in that direction, but I kept on it.
A couple of times I ended up on the old path.
I wasn’t paying attention, I ended up on the old path because it was still established there, I could still see it.
And now the old path is actually hard to find, so if I were to go in there, it would actually be harder for me to go on the old path than it is for me to stay on the established new path, even though it’s not still as easy to see as the path that was there when I got there.
Does that make sense?
So that’s exactly what we’re doing.
That’s exactly what you are doing when you’re creating a new direction – you’re having a fresh, new start.
So you make a decision on it.
This is my vision and this is how to get here, and this is what I want to commit to.
I want to stop doing this, I want to start doing this.
So, you start a new path.
That’s really exciting because when you forge a new path, you’re in some new territory.
It’s fresh, it’s new, it’s exciting.
You’re an explorer, and it’s satisfying that part of you that craves variety, that basic, human need that craves variety.
Once you get in there, it’s not that easy to forge a new path.
You’re having to cut things down, you’re having to make way for yourself.
It’s not always easy to see because it’s a new path.
When you’re doing things for the first time, you’re out in that explorer’s territory where it can get scary.
So you can stop and you can go back to an old established path.
“Oh, my gosh, that feels easier.”
But then all of a sudden you realize you’re not going where your vision is, you’re not going to where you said you wanted to go, where you’re really excited and being beckoned to.
So, there’s a lot going on.
When you notice that you have gone back to some of your old ways, you get to be gentle with yourself.
You’re an explorer in your life, you’re out forging new pathways.
So when you find yourself on an old, established path that feels good and comfortable, even though it’s not something you want anymore because it’s something that you’ve discovered isn’t serving you, just say, “Okay, I kind of got complacent here, I started just relaxing and I ended up navigating back onto an old path.
I’m just going to regroup here and get myself back on the new one.”
And you can do some discovery here, you can have some fun in discovery.
You can take some coaching, you can jump on a master class and raise your hand, or you can go into my Instagram or you can send me an email.
You can go on one of my Giving Friday calls if you find yourself, over and over and over, back on the old path and you’re not comfortable with it anymore.
You’ve come to a fork in the road and you’re not interested in taking the familiar, you are interested in forging into the next thing.
The other day when I was bidding…
I’m continuing to create a way to expand Spirit River, I want to have lodging there for you.
I haven’t done this before, there’s a lot of money involved.
The economic state right now around us is not very certain, there’s a lot happening.
So I ask myself, I put myself in a state where I imagine how it would be to let it all go and just be happier with a simpler solution, and I feel let down when I do that, and that tells me that I won’t be satisfied unless I keep pushing through this path, this brand new path, and I keep making a new path for myself.
So if you’re wondering if you’re on the right path, ask yourself and feel your way. Feel if you’d be happier, really, going into something you’ve known for a long time, or if you’re going to be happier and more excited about life forging the path of your vision.
So there’s a lot in this coaching, I’d suggest that you listen to it multiple times.
This is some rationale behind why you continue to find yourself seemingly where you were.
You’re never really back to where you started, you’re always moving forward, but you might be revisiting an old path over and over.
These are some reasons why you get to be compassionate with yourself, and if you’re not able to figure out how to keep moving forward and if you’re frustrated there, that’s a great sign that you should take some coaching.
That coaching is available to you, and you may want to grab one of the Giving Friday calls.
Have a beautiful day.
And yeah, happy entanglement with your path.
It doesn’t go straight, it goes here and there and around, and it’s your opportunity for a really exciting investigation of your own self, your own universe.
Sending you love.
Have a great, great rest of your day.