161 Re-writing Your Rules to Succeed
This is Anne with your Coaching on the Go.
Today is challenge day.
You get to challenge the rules that you have and ask yourself with each rule.
Being honest with yourself, is this rule really true?
Is this serving me?
Is this a good rule for me?
Does it set me up for success?
So if you take one of your rules, for example, family comes first – and then you are having your own family – which family is that that’s going to come first?
Or you’re having your career and you have things that you’re developing in your life and someone in your family, maybe your parents, need something, and you find yourself constantly coming to service and dropping the things that you want to move forward when your family needs something.
When you look at that rule: Family comes first.
How can you shift it?
And is it true?
Should family come first?
Should family come before you?
Is that rule serving you?
Is that belief serving you?
So how could you shift it?
Family is important.
Family is part of the important things in my life.
I balance my service to family with my service to my own life, whatever that could look like.
I had this rule laying deep that, no matter what happens, my parents are older, no matter what they need, I get to be there.
I get to drop whatever.
That’s most important.
They will not be here forever.
So I would find myself where my life was pushing me between my parents needing something and my own development as a human being.
And it would particularly happen coincidentally, and we know what coincidences are.
Things colliding together on purpose.
They would seem, as I escalated my learning and started to step into another level of living, a level I hadn’t been at before.
New learning, new possibility, new growth.
As I would step into these next big chapters, for some reason, my very independent parents would need something from me.
It was actually my mom who typically I felt like was skeptical about my moving forward and being independent in my own business.
She would be the one who needed my support, and then I would feel caught between a rock and a hard place.
No wiggle room.
Until, in my leadership, I decided that I liked being able to be there for my parents and to be there for myself and that I chose it.
I wasn’t a victim of anything.
And I was going to choose to both be there for them and be there for me.
And I was going to figure out how to navigate both.
So I shifted my rule.
The rule now says that I am capable of caring for my family and myself at the same time.
So what are some of the rules that get you in trouble?
And are they true for you now?
And are they ridiculous or do they make sense?
Today you get to go through the rules that you’ve discovered so far, and there will be more and more rules that you discover.
And it’s said that the fewer your rules are, the fewer rules you have, the happier your life is.
So keep that in mind.
But as you go through and consider each rule, ask yourself if it’s still working.
Many of the rules that I discovered were obsolete.
When I would feel hurt or discover that rule had been broken, I would look at it and I would find out how absurd the rule was, how general it was, and how it was going to kick me in the kneecaps over and over again until I shifted it.
So instead of adding something else to today’s homework – that’s quite a bit – look at at least one of the rules that has been haunting you and been a source of pain and shift that.
Either rewrite it, get rid of it, or shift it completely.
And then send me a note in the Facebook page.
You can either DM me or you can put it in the entire group page and tell us what you learned.
Tell us, what was your old rule?
What did you discover about it?
And what you’re going to do with it.
Looking forward to seeing those posts in our community Facebook page.
Have a beautiful day.