171 Sneaky Strategies to Keep You Small
Hey, this is Anne with your Coaching on that Go, and today I’m just going to talk about a couple of ways that people open a gap between them and what they’re doing, what they’re wanting – the relationships, the life, the business, and themselves.
The gap between what you’re focusing on or what you want to have happen and where you are.
So there’s a couple of things that come up for me.
The biggest thing that I see with clients is fear, and fear can produce all of the other things I’m going to talk about for the next two days.
If you have a fear, and it could be of failure and it could be of success, and it could be if you’re enough, it could be if you’re worthy enough, it could be that you’re not enough.
Fear is the biggest issue for people, and it pops up in so many different ways and it gets in the way.
It’s in the gap.
Getting over the fear is in the gap.
Getting over the fear creates the bridge that removes the gap, or it tightens the thread or the yarn that you’re holding between your two fingers.
It creates the communication, the attention, the intention between where you are now and where you are going, that you don’t stop if you fill in what’s missing.
So I often encourage people to look at the fear, look it right in the eye.
What is the fear about?
Is it of failing?
Is it of succeeding and not being able to maintain it?
Is it the fear of not knowing what your life’s going to look like or feel like next?
What is the fear about?
Often when you really breathe into it, it’s so formidable that you don’t want to look at it.
But when you finally do, it’s not as big as you thought and it’s not even realistic.
80% of the time I jump into fears with people, the fear they have isn’t even in their character.
It’s not even something that they would allow to go past step one, which is looking at it and seeing it.
There’s not even a rational basis for the fear to be there, because it’s not in their character to be the way that they would need to be to have that fear become true.
So I highly, highly recommend you looking into your fear, and if you need coaching around it, ask me for it.
Some of the things that come up and they look like fear, but they’re on top of the level of fear, is sometimes you might catch yourself saying, “Well, I don’t know what to do next,” or maybe you’re too vague and you haven’t really set a clear path for yourself on what you want.
So you get to discover what you want.
Take long walks in the woods, meditate.
Do the things that you love to do and listen.
Get the clarity that you need.
Lack of motivation, that is so interesting because if you are plugged into what you’re creating, how can you not be motivated to create it?
There’s something underneath it and it’s usually the fear, the unknown.
Procrastination – it might look like you’re lazy or you’re putting things off, but really if you breathe into it, what is it about?
It’s usually about fear.
You’re usually putting something off.
What’s the payoff?
Ask yourself, for all of these or any of these that pertain to you, what is the payoff for being fearful, for not clearing up why you don’t know what you’re doing?
Why not be clearer for not being motivated or pretending that you’re lazy or procrastinating?
What is the payoff in these situations?
What are you getting in the form of safety or security from procrastinating, from being a perfectionist, from doubting yourself, from feeling like there are too many obstacles in my way, from not clearing things up so you know where you’re going, for allowing yourself to stay in fear?
What is the benefit to you?
Look underneath it, breathe into it.
99% of the time you’re going to discover you have a fear underneath, and all these tactics that are superficial, they’re laying over the top of uncertainty and fear.
Are you enough to do this?
Do you have any right to do this?
This is your life.
You’re free, you can do anything you want.
This is your internal dialog speaking.
So take a look at it today, dig into these fears, lack of clarity, lack of motivation, procrastination.
Look into those for today and see if you are engaging in any of those, and I have a few more for you tomorrow.