199 Use These First Two Steps
Hey this is Anne with your Coaching on the Go, and this week we are talking about what to do if you feel blindsided, if things don’t go your way.
When you find yourself in a momentum that’s not optimum for you.
It’s not optimal.
So the first thing you want to do, when let’s say something happened, like in my story yesterday, me heading down to what would be an incredibly beautiful spiritual experience, and things weren’t in place the way they usually are for me.
So I took a deep breath, that calms you.
I mean, you might take six of them.
There’s statistical analysis that supports six big, deep breaths; it doesn’t matter if you’re in through the nose or out through the mouth.
A lot of times, depending on how I’m feeling, I take a deep breath just any way I can – a deep breath right in through my mouth or through my nose, and I let it go through whichever of those places feels good for me.
Do that six times, do it for a few minutes.
Okay, then you get a chance to assess.
So that breathing has given you a chance to step back and try to identify what the root of the problem is.
What is the problem really about for you?
For me, yesterday, it could be about control.
It could be about things not being the way I expected.
It could be about me being the center of the universe, and things are supposed to stay the same for me.
It could be about a resistance to change or a fear of the future.
There’s so many things.
You get to look at your situation and you get to decide what is the root of what you’re experiencing that’s upsetting for you, and then this can help you feel more in control because you can think about the solutions then.
So immediately yesterday, when I saw things out on the cliff that were possibly damaging the environment there and the spiritual quality that I usually bring there, I went out of my level four when I was worried that the changes someone else made could affect my spiritual experience.
That’s up to me.
So as I started to really think through the situation, getting upset there wouldn’t help it.
What could I do?
So today’s coaching is just around your initial reaction to something that’s not what you expected or that’s shocking.
It could be your car breaking down, it could be an accident.
It could be you discovering some news about someone you love, it could be you losing a job.
Whatever it is, the common theme of what it is is something that surprises you and has the possibility to derail you.
So you’re taking deep breaths, you’re assessing the situation, just taking a really good look at it and really asking yourself what’s the cause of the problem, what’s the root cause, and think about possibilities.
This does two things.
It helps you to be curious, which you know takes you out of the emotion, and it sets you into a solution mindset, which is productive.
It’s in level three or four, and it takes you out of this place where you can feel like a victim, because you immediately start taking some action that’s productive.
It gives you something to be doing, so you’re not motionless.
So that’s where I’m going to stop today, and take notes on this.
Number one, you’re taking deep breaths, keeping yourself calm.
Number two, you’re just taking a really good look at the situation so that you can start thinking about solutions and you can shift from problem to solution.
And that’s your coaching for today.
I’ll continue this tomorrow and through the end of the week.
By the end of the week, you’ll have a complete toolbox of steps that you can take if it ever happens that you’re caught off guard.
All right, sending you big love.