201 More Tools to Remain Stabilized
Hey, this is Anne with your Coaching on the Go.
This week we are taking a deep dive into creating a toolbox for you around the things that shock, trigger, derail, send people into a momentum that they don’t want.
Something unexpected might happen that creates a challenge for you to remain in your stability, and it can even be somebody that’s close to you that’s really good at triggering you, like a sibling who really knows you and really knows how to push your buttons, or a child, and they could say something to you that could really derail you.
So I talked about breathing, I talked about assessing the situation, assessing it for a plan of attack, then prioritizing what has to go first, second, third, and then seeking the right support for yourself, for that particular thing that’s happening, and then taking action.
Today I’m talking about taking the action.
So we’re taking these steps, and sometimes they happen very quickly.
In my situation, I had to, and often if there’s an emergency, like an accident or something, these get to happen quickly.
So, you get to take action once you’ve done these first four steps.
Once you’ve assessed it and you have a plan, identified a plan, then you get to do it.
So I called these gentlemen right away, I engaged them and it set a series of different actions in motion that supported a movement towards a resolution.
Taking action could be someone had an accident and you’re calling the right people, you’re getting the right emergency assistance.
You could have a breakup with someone that seems unexpected, and maybe you’ll find out later it wasn’t.
You could have an accident where someone got hurt.
Whatever it is, at some point you get to take action, and that action is going to keep you from moving down into depression.
It’s going to keep you from spiraling down and having more and more things go on where you say, “This isn’t my day, this isn’t my year, this isn’t my week.
Nothing’s going right for me.
This is a disaster.
Everything’s falling apart.
Those are statements that disable your momentum, so I’m giving you tools that can keep you from getting to that point.
If you hear yourself saying those things, that’s a road sign to tell you that you get to stop.
You get to stop that momentum by shifting into any of these other things immediately.
I would start right with step one again, with the deep breathing.
If you feel like you have spiraled into victim mode, level one victim mode, just start again at level one, taking deep breaths and work your way up, assessing things.
If you need someone to help you assess them, call someone there, then prioritize what gets to happen.
Set priorities on each thing that gets to happen – first, second, third, fourth – so that it makes sense.
Whatever is the most urgent gets taken care of.
Surround yourself with the right support.
All these things partly are taking the action, and they’re interchangeable, but I would go back to the first one if you need to, if you find yourself saying, “My life sucks, this always happens to me, everything is going downhill, this is a disaster.”
So the goal is that you never get to those statements, but if you do, go back down to one again, start again.
And then with this step, taking action, one of the actions is taking care of yourself.
So take care of yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
When you’re in a stressful situation that you didn’t expect, make sure you’re getting enough sleep, make sure you’re eating, make sure you’re meditating.
Make sure you’re getting your exercise, because that expels the stress.
Engage in the kind of activities that bring you joy and relaxation, like going into lists of things that you get to appreciate – taking a bubble bath, having a beautiful meal, listening to relaxing music.
So, you’ve got a lot of tools here.
Tomorrow I’m going to wrap this up in a bow and talk about the last one, and bring this to a close.
So your call to action today is to think about the last time that you felt derailed and what you did – either what you did really well to get through it, or how deep you got and how challenging it was before you started to neutralize things.
Think about these steps and how you could signal to yourself the next time something shocking happens that you don’t expect, so that you can move right into this group of tools and you don’t spend a lot of time having to undo the momentum you create that you don’t want.
You don’t want to find yourself creating more and more and more to add to the pile of things that aren’t going well for you.
The goal here is that you stop the momentum by looking around, assessing, breathing, getting support, taking care of yourself, taking action, because you don’t want to make this bigger than it is.
The better you handle whatever happens that shocks you or surprises you in a way that you don’t like, the more quickly you can neutralize it and go into a solution-based mindset and taking action towards a solution, the more you will nullify any kind of effects that take you in a direction you don’t want.
Because remember, you’re being guided towards something bigger, and you can’t see the whole picture right now, but from my experience, what I’ve become clear about is that often these things that seemed like they derailed, they’re course corrections.
They’re setting you up for the thing that you want.
Sometimes you want a different job, and then you lose your job, and you’re like, “Oh, I lost my job, I got fired from my job,” and then when you think on it later, a better thing comes forward, but it needed to come forward in space.
So you losing the job, or the trauma that happened as you lost the job created the space for you to get the new position.
So that’s another thing that you just get to keep in mind.
You don’t know everything about what’s happening, you’re in the middle of it.
So the better mindset you can keep yourself in, the more available you are to listen to the hunches that are going to take you where this situation is really launching you to go.
Have a beautiful day.