208 Are Your Stories Keeping You Small?

Hey, this is Anne with your Coaching on the Go.

This week, I’m talking with you about the stories you tell about yourself and giving you some ideas about how to shift the momentum that you have towards stories that aren’t taking you where you want to go. 

So, how do you do that? 

I spend quite a bit of time with clients engaging them in processes to get them to tell a new story.

When I left my job, and I used to say I lost my job, but I chose to leave it, I had a long story of pain that went with the transition out of that job. 

Why did I have that story? 

Because I hadn’t come to terms with how it happened, I was justifying. 

I was also in a victim mode on some level, or a survivor mode, which is level one and two leadership. 

I was uncertain and on a shaky foundation, and I was looking to get sympathy from people, so I was sharing a story of challenge and pain and being wronged and being confused, and it was partly because I was still confused about it. 

Sometimes when you’re in the middle of something, it’s very difficult because you haven’t had the opportunity to go forward and look back.

It’s difficult to come to terms with things that you haven’t figured out yet. 

So there’s a variety of reasons people tell their stories, but if the story doesn’t feel good, the rule of thumb is don’t keep retelling it, because you continue to create momentum in the direction that you don’t want. 

So it behooves you to look for the things in your life that are evidence of your greatness.

When you are embarking on something new – a new project, a new chapter, maybe you’re coming out of retirement or leaving one career and going into another, maybe you’re looking to start something – it really is important to look, if you’re going to look back at all, to look at the things that supported your past successes and make a list of those. 

So often we don’t celebrate ourselves, and so often we just look at the things that hurt because the pain is memorable. 

What worked out great gets to be memorable, too.

So what I have clients do is a series of activities that keep them focused on the story that they’re now creating, because your past doesn’t equal your future. 

What you experienced in your past doesn’t have to continue forward. 

You can pick and choose the things that you want to take with you and leave the rest behind, or you can start completely fresh.

So I suggest, when people start coaching with me, that they even think about the energy that called them to get into my community. 

What did it take for you to sign up for something that caused you to end up in this community? 

That was a step you took. 

So I have people make note of all the steps they take and then the doors that open, because when you take steps in your life, when you make shifts in your life, when you make decisions and take some level of action in your life, other things start to happen. 

There’s a domino effect of positive things.

When you step into something that opens a door, all the things on the other side of that door start to become revealed to you.

If you’re scared to open that door, scared to take the next step, scared to say yes to something you haven’t done before, you are also sending out energy of fear, of staying small. 

You’re telling that interactive, collaborative, co-creative energy around you, that God force, that you’re not ready for anything more, you want to stay where you are. 

If you continue to think about your past, the message you’re sending is you are interested in staying in that past.

Every time you tell the stories of woe and doom and gloom, even if they are true, and they are, you are sending out the energy from that moment, that experience.

The energy that you didn’t like, you are emphasizing it, and the quantum field will bounce some more of that back to you. 

So, we’ve been talking recently about what to do when you’re blindsided.

Now I’m talking about just what story are you telling, what momentum do you have? 

If you’re going to bring a momentum from your past, choose the best parts of your past and really think about those and how blessed you are, how fortunate, how appreciative.

You get to choose that powerfully. 

So this week in the community, this is what I’m talking about.

If you want more coaching than you’re getting, if you’re a Monday-only coaching recipient, you can contact me, send me an email, and I can get you involved in something more. 

So what happened in my story? 

I stopped telling that story about leaving my job, actually losing my job. 

I stopped telling it and I started telling a new story, and it allowed me to start seeing things differently, even about that situation and the gifts therein, and it walked me out of a chapter powerfully and into new chapters, and I will also articulate this more. 

Your call to action is to look at the story you’re telling right now. 

Are you including things from the past that are great, or are you including things from the past that you don’t want to see again or repeat again?

If you are telling stories that are from the past that weren’t powerful, I hope you’re ending those stories with a lesson you learned that’s taking you forward. 

So review your stories this week, make an audit of how you talk about your past and the kind of momentum that it’s creating for you into the future. 

Have a beautiful day.