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259 Are You Aware of Your Rules

Aug 7, 2023 | Uncategorized

Hey, this is Anne with your Coaching on the Go.

And we are going to spend two weeks navigating through the ways to change.

It’s a system for you to change the way that you audit your rules and structures and paradigms so that you are a self-cleaning oven.

And today is the first of ten that I’m going to talk about it, and the first one is self-awareness.

So if you’re self-aware, then you can really understand how this rule or structure is affecting your life.

And so the first thing you want to do is recognize and acknowledge if a rule or a belief or a structure that you have is antiquated is out of date.

And you can go all the way through your whole list and do that, or you can choose one today and get started on it because I’m going to have you go into some detail.

And once you decide if it’s antiquated, I want you to reflect on how it impacts your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions.

And then I want you to understand the influence this belief has on your life because that’s crucial.

It’s not easy to change things even when you know that you don’t love them anymore.

If you have a default for acting a certain way when this or this happens, then it’s not easy to change.

So your understanding of the influence and how it’s affected you and if it’s antiquated are very important.

These are intelligent ways of engaging with a rule.

Let’s just call them rules right now.

And I mean rule, belief, paradigm, okay?

It’s a way of you being able to engage with it intellectually so that you have plenty of reasons why you’re going to shift it.

And each time it would come up, you would be able to know the logic behind the shift.

I’ll use an example.

So if I take my old paradigm that I grew up with that it’s hard to make money as an artist, okay?

I look at that and I just decide, yes, that’s an old belief.

It came from my childhood.

It was reinforced by many people.

And because I believed it or because I heard it and I didn’t really want to believe it, I began to look around and hear it over and over.

So it was echoed.

And yes, it’s antiquated.

It’s old and it doesn’t serve.

It doesn’t have any place here.

And now the second step is to reflect on how it impacts my thoughts, feelings, and actions.

So first of all, how does that belief affect my thoughts?

Well, if I believe when I believe that it’s hard to make money and make a living with my art, it makes me think I’ve got to find other things, many other things, to support myself, that I can’t support myself with one of my main gifts.

It causes me to feel like my true gifts aren’t valuable.

And I’ve got to prove myself in other ways.

There are a list of things that start to go on in my head that used to play out when I would feel that rule.

And speaking of feeling, the next thing is how it impacts feelings.

It makes me feel it causes me to feel not worthy, that my giftedness isn’t worthy.

It causes me to feel hurt, to feel smaller, to feel like that effervescent gift, a gift from God isn’t valuable.

Now, a lot of you have this because you have these innate gifts.

Some of you are empathic.

Some of you are musical.

Some of you are super intuitive.

But the gifts you’ve had haven’t been received.

In a way, maybe you were too powerful for the people around you, and so they toned you down.

Maybe they couldn’t handle it.

A lot of people come out of childhood feeling like they’re supposed to be smaller.

They’re taking too much space because adults in their life said to leave room for other people, etcetera, etcetera.

You’re too noisy, too big to this, to that.

So it can hurt your feelings.

And then what actions has this rule promoted in your life?

So if I look at my rule, it promoted me to do many, many other side things that instead of my work to support myself or to validate myself or to validate myself to others.

And I realized over time that I have multiple things I’m interested in.

But I spent a lot less adult time as an artist because of that rule because I was hoofing it, doing other things.

So why do I give you these examples of my life?

It’s not because I just like to listen to myself talk.

It’s not because my story is more important than other stories.

It’s because when I tell you these stories, my intention for you is that it opens up things in yours.

If I tell you authentically what I’ve experienced in the past with a rule or structure or paradigm, my wish for you is that it unlocks some things for you that can be released.

So the last step in the self-awareness piece around restructuring is understanding the influence of this belief on your life because it’s crucial for you to make a change.

So your call to action today is to either pick one rule or go through the list and decide if they are recognized and acknowledge that the rule or rules and beliefs are antiquated.

Or if they’re good, then reflect on how they impact your thoughts, feelings, and actions individually.

And then decide and understand the influence that belief has had on your life.

Now, if you wrote that it’s antiquated, I mean, you might do that.

Third, if you want to do the first two and then decide, is it antiquated?

If it is, it’s crucial for you to be able to understand all these things about it so you can change.

And that’s the big work for today.


You’re going through either one or the list.

And keep this note, because this is going to be ten different ways in which you can audit and shift rules so they work in your favor.

This is a process, and this is the first part of it.


Have a beautiful day.