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263 Sprinkle Empathy On Top

Aug 9, 2023 | Uncategorized

This is Anne with your Coaching on the Go.

With number five, the fifth way that will support you in shifting decade-old rules and beliefs.

Actually decades, they could go all the way back and often do to between in vitro at age seven.

That’s where everything is said to be formed.

Before you’re even born.

You start creating these paradigms and structures.

So today number five is about something that I mentioned in the last Coaching on the Go.

I suggested that when you talk about a rule or a structure.

When you really start talking about it, you can start to think about why that was in place and what the purpose of it was.

How possibly it worked for you.

I like to do this for a couple of different reasons.

If I can figure out ways that the rule made sense when it was applied or the belief made sense.

When I created it from the story or the situation that I experienced.

It can give me the feeling of appreciation for myself.

That little three-year-old or that five-year-old came up with this structure to survive or to make the best of something.

Or that this large family had a rule about not wasting resources that I took too far.

That really was an important rule and structure for the family to be successful that I was raised in.

So bringing empathy to the rule or structure or guideline or paradigm that you have because it was created for a reason.

It was either created to protect and serve.

Or it was created on the outside of you for some reason.

So what I’m saying is that when you have an internal rule that you created from a story.

Let’s say you experienced pain or something wonderful happened.

And you created a structure so you could repeat or not repeat that scenario.

And it made sense to you when you were a child.

You made it up internally.

It was yours.

Or you had a rule that was given to you from outside of yourself.

Either way, when you look at these.

It’s really helpful to step into someone else’s shoes for the situation that was occurring.

Someone who maybe has an opposing belief to you.

Or they did something for a specific reason.

But you don’t agree with it.

Try to understand the reasons and the emotions behind the rules and the structures that you’re coming up against now.

The empathy that you bring to that situation.

Can create forgiveness, compassion, and peacefulness.

A lot of people, including me before I started doing this work.

Harbor a lot of resentment for rules and structures and the way that they were raised by parents.

And often there’s no understanding of the variables that these parents were experiencing.

That caused them to behave in a certain way.

Create certain rules, have you obey certain structures.

And so when you go back as an adult, because now you have all these sensibilities.

And you look at the evolution of how that rule or structure was created.

What I suggest is to bring that empathy.

So you can have appreciation and forgiveness for yourself and for the other people involved.

And you can even forgive or understand that it was really a good rule for that time.

Or it was important or it was effective.

But now you have the opportunity to either tweak it.

To have it work for you, get rid of it.

Or keep it if it’s still working.

But it’s my understanding that if you’re still dealing with it.

And there’s some pain involved and it popped up.

It’s not working right now.

So today’s call to action is about bringing empathy.

When you look at the rules and you go back in time and look at their origins.

You can see that each of these could be a week on their own.

But I’m giving them a day.

So I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed.


If it serves you, just investigate one of your rules right now.

Don’t overwhelm yourself.

If you can shift with one rule in the next couple of weeks.

Because if we’re going to even spill into the third week, that’s great.

All right.

Sending you love, as always.