299 How To Be Open To Feedback
Hey, this is Anne with your Coaching On The Go.
I’m talking this week about things that are noticeably keeping my clients from their next level so that I can pinpoint those with you and you can keep shifting forward.
Yesterday I started speaking about trust and how if you don’t have that with yourself, you cannot create on the highest levels.
Creating on the highest levels requires you to be able to sit in a space where you don’t know what’s going to happen next and know you’re still on the right track and wait for the next signals.
That takes trust.
Years ago when I taught high school art, I had engaged students in a critique process that I learned when I was in college.
I did this because critiquing asks so much of a person.
Imagine you are in an art class and you do not feel as though you are talented and creative in the arts.
Your teacher asks you to put your drawing, which you have struggled on, up in front of the entire class of peers, to get feedback.
If you think about that, what starts immediately coming up for you?
How do you feel in your throat?
I created a formula that I want to suggest to you as a tool.
I used it with them.
I use it in my pods.
I use it in your quarterly goal sheets as well.
It’s called Positive-Constructive-Positive.
You start with something, anything that you can discover about what you’re creating that is moving you in the right direction, something that you like, something that’s a win.
So an example would be you made a meal and you set up the meal and it didn’t turn out how you wish.
You consider this to be a complete flop.
You approach this meal and first talk about what worked.
It could just be the idea was great, the execution wasn’t, but the idea was great.
The intentions were great.
Then you’re going into what you noticed could be done differently.
What in your mind was a flop?
What is not working?
What are you struggling with?
I’m talking about anything that you critique, as you can tell
Then you end with giving yourself a shot in the arm, a support.
“OK, you can do this!”
“You’ve got a great start on some of these items.”
“If you apply these different ideas, you’re gonna have a better result.”
“I believe in you.”
When we critiqued in our group students, students who weren’t quite mature might start giving a harsh critique.
I would stop that and we would talk about the best way to receive feedback, what format the feedback is in when you have an easy time receiving it.
And so in a neutral way, I would critique the critiquer.
In a gentle and kind way, I would critique the critiquer.
So as you work on this critique process, you get to trust yourself with your internal voice so that you are creating an environment that’s safe for exploration.
Instead of just focusing on what someone else might say about what you did, how are you speaking to yourself about it?
Is that encouraging more playfulness, more creativity, more risk-taking?
Or is it shutting down those aspects that open somebody to a magnificent collaboration?
Today’s call to action is to critique something that you’ve done.
Look at the environment that you’re creating in the critique.
Use the Positive-Constructive-Positive format to give yourself feedback and move yourself forward.
What would you do again?
What would you do differently?
What have you done so well?
Start with your wins.
Be objective, curious, and neutral about the things that you could see shifting forward, and end with your wins.
End with a celebration of you in what you’re creating.
Sending you love.