31 Why Are You Serving?
Years ago, I wanted to help a group of people, and I could see a vision for them that I felt like I could understand how to get them there. And I didn’t necessarily know it was their vision, it was my vision for them, which is troublesome in some way. Beautiful in some ways and troublesome in others.
But as an educator, I found myself feeling like I came up with a solution to a longstanding generational problem, and so I was offering it. And because I was so excited about being a solution bringer and excited about what I could see as a possibility for this group of people, there were warning signs that this particular situation wasn’t quite working, and I kept pushing through them with joy, with energy, eyes forward, that can-do attitude.
And eventually I got the project up and running and there were a series of mishaps, again, along the way. There wasn’t just one time where I could see things not coming together. I pushed through and made a bridge where things weren’t working multiple times. I was more steeped in the results of this project than I was getting buy-in from the group, and because of that, at some point, much further down, when things unraveled and I was shocked and I felt taken advantage of, and I felt wronged and I couldn’t believe that I could serve on such a high level and create something so beautiful and be hurt, and have it not work and be treated the way I was treated.
So I felt like a victim, all those things point to the feeling of victimhood. And I went to a Tony Robbins event and he talked about everything we ever do, we have a motivation for it, there’s something in it for us. And so this painful situation, it had gone further and further and had created a situation where I left a career that I was in, that I loved, and I felt completely confused, taken advantage of, like a victim. And it didn’t feel good to go back in and look at what could have been in it for me. Why would I have overridden these things that I now could see so clearly, that could have been reasons I could have just stopped this project? Why did I continue forward?
So it was a balance between me having a vision for it, but me also being connected to wanting to be a change agent. And in this case I had to say, I had to be honest with myself, I wanted to be a change agent. I wanted to be the person that was the linchpin that helped shift our result. And even though it was a positive idea, I wasn’t in touch with if it was the idea of the community that I was helping, or that I wanted to help, and it wasn’t something they had bought into. On some level they really appreciated, there was a lot of appreciation and joy in the event that happened, but then these were just checks and balances.
So if you’re in a situation where you have something… I mean, I guess what I want to say today is always check yourself for your motivation, and we do always have something in it for us. And there’s nothing wrong with that, because we’re growing and enjoying and expanding, but if your need or want to get some recognition, which was happening, I have to admit in my case, I wanted to be the one that helped the change. If that’s bigger than making sure that the community that I was helping, or the project that you’re working on, is going and it’s in the flow, then you could run into problems. But it’ll be a learning opportunity, it always is, so you really can’t do the wrong thing.
If you get too embedded in something, the universe, God, God force, all the clues will tell you and you can readjust and you can learn, because I’m the person now that I am because of what I’ve learned throughout my entire life, when I haven’t been balanced or I was balanced or… You really can’t make a mistake. That’s our coaching for today, have a beautiful day. Hit reply, and if this touched you, tell me why.