330 Why You Sabotage Yourself
Hey, this is Anne with your Coaching On The Go.
Interestingly, in our subconscious, fear can lead to behaviors that sabotage our progress.
It can be a way of avoiding the potential discomfort that would present itself as we grow to the next level.
Everybody does this in different ways, but I see it a lot in my coaching.
When people are about to get to the next level, they have a recurring theme that shows up.
For me, when I’m just about to attempt a very engaging project that’s going to ask a lot of me.
Over the years, I’ve developed a defense mechanism that can sabotage me, and it looks like this.
I get really tired sometimes my back gets tweaky.
I start to feel like I just don’t have the energy.
I can start to feel like I’m feeling overwhelmed.
Those are characteristics that I’ve seen over time.
They used to work and they would persuade me to stop my progress.
The problem with that is once you get your momentum going, any of these fears start to slow down your momentum, particularly overwhelm.
You work so hard to get to the point where you’re getting the hunches, you’re in the flow that when you start to feel like you are getting to the point where it’s too much for you, I highly recommend you consider whether or not you want to slow down your momentum.
Your momentum is so powerful.
Self-sabotage can show up for you in different ways.
It could be that your mom or your dad or your family seemed to call you right before your next level each time.
That was me as well.
I noticed a pattern where right when I was just about to get to the next level, my family would need me.
I started to look at that pattern.
I started to breathe into it and look at it.
What I discovered was a rule underneath, way underneath hiding, that was pitting my love of family and my belief in how the love of family should look with my ability to go to the next level in my career, and my personal goals.
So as you go into self-sabotage, I want you to start to be able to look at when you do it, how you do it, and what happens when you’re doing it, so that you can notice it as a sign.
I also want you to look into the underlying rules or structures that the self-sabotage is working on dealing with.
You could have two things that are opposing one another, that you want, that your inner being doesn’t know how to come to terms with.
That’s why it’s so important to gather information about these fears.
Today’s coaching is just around self-sabotage.
I want you to take some time today and think about ways you have successfully stopped yourself from the next level in the past.
I have used overwhelm.
I’ve used excuses like, “I don’t know what to do next.”
In the past, I’ve used excuses like, “I feel tired. This must be a sign I’m not meant to go further.”
You will have some of those things too.
The beauty is that the same ones keep showing up in your life as you go along.
Once you identify these characters in your play you can jot them down, and keep notes about them, get coaching on them, and when you see them you’ll know that that’s a normal part of your expansion process.
“There they are again!”
And you’ve got the right tools to engage with them.
Have a beautiful day.