61 What do you say to yourself?
Hey, this is Anne with your Coaching on the Go. Last week we talked about the major stories that you tell in your life and the themes behind those major stories. This week, we’re going to go deeper into language. What I want you to do is really focus today on the things that you say regularly. What is the thing that you say when something doesn’t go your way? What are the things that you say? There’s usually one that’s the most common, and I’ll just be transparent that when I started being asked to do this, something I was saying to myself was, “How can I be so stupid?” I was saying that when things wouldn’t go the way that I wish they would. “Oh my gosh, I’m so stupid. How could I be so stupid?”
What is the thing that you’re saying? And there’s usually a trend, again, just like a trend to our stories. What is the trend of the things you say about yourself or the phrases you use? So I guess the first thing I want you to do here is get to the bottom of the thing that you say to yourself when something happens that isn’t what you would like to have happen. Listen to yourself today and hear the words, hear what you’re saying to yourself, and then Thursday we will pick another grouping of things to listen for. But, you know, this is self investigation. If you’re saying to yourself something like I was – “How can I be so stupid?” – wow, that is not something that is going to promote great thinking, inspiration.
If you had a friend like that or a parent like that, or someone in your proximity who said that to you, it would be very demoralizing in a way. So your homework for today, really pay attention and come up with and tell me in an email, push reply and tell me what you’re saying to yourself. This is deep work. We often see these things and we don’t really pay attention, but sometimes we even say them out loud. So I was around someone that I care for that was doing some work for me, and they said, “Oh, I’m such an idiot.” They’d say that regularly. “I’m such an idiot.” What are you saying to yourself? Let me know.