92 Prove it to Yourself – Defending your Thesis
It’s Anne with your Coaching on the Go.
The next step in changing your momentum on an action, like changing your decision and moving into it, is being committed.
During the last audio I spoke with you about keeping your word with yourself, having integrity with your word – when you say something, doing it – and this is an extension of that commitment.
How big is your commitment when you actually decide to make a change on a belief or a momentum that you’ve had going?
How committed are you?
Where are you locking in to that decision?
So I referenced this yesterday, but I have been in groups of people where they want everybody to make a commitment on a decision that the group has made.
Sometimes I’m fully engaged in that and I’ve said yes to it, and other times I had noticed I was saying yes because the whole group was saying yes, and I wasn’t fully on board and I didn’t necessarily have the guts or the interest in continuing to fight my point, because I knew the group had already decided as a group, that the vast majority was moving in this direction.
And part of me wanted to decide that I could put down my need to be right and step over the line into that decision the group was making, and I could be part of the group and I could stand with the group, but a part of me was still not on board.
So when I said yes, I would, I said it reluctantly, and that wasn’t committed.
That’s not a committed decision.
So there was more work that I would either get to do to fully buy in because I was feeling belligerent, resistant on some level, or I would not do it, I would not be committed.
So commitment is really important.
You either choose to be committed and you see your vision, you see where you’re going and you buy into that commitment and you stand strong in it, or there’s work that you get to do to be committed.
So what is the work?
What do you need to do emotionally, mentally, even physically to be all in on your decision and be committed?
Because that is so important, it’s really essential to succeeding.
So with my clients, we do a number of things to lock into commitment.
If there are mental games being played by you, which often there are, what are the mental games?
What are the questions coming up?
What is the resistance about?
Have a conversation with that resistance.
Are you tired of it?
Do you not want to deal with it?
Are you questioning your ability to move forward?
What are the things that are being said inside?
Have an intellectual conversation with each of those points and set up a structure for yourself, a meaningful structure that allows you to say yes.
So if I go back to the sugar that I love, because I associate it with my grandfather, and then how it morphed into other things, now I’m seeing a lot of research.
I can find the research about what sugar does to your body, how it creates an acid environment in which your body has to operate.
And when you have an acid environment, it’s an environment similar to a fight or flight, where a lot of adrenalin is created, acid is created, and you’re acting in a constant state of stress.
And when that happens, your body hangs on to extra fat because it might need it.
It’s under duress.
Knowing that right there can give me a visualization for what’s happening in my body when I choose to eat that sugar, that can make the sugar be much less delightful when I think of it.
It’s actually working against me.
The very thing that I was finding delight in is actually working to create a dis-ease in my body, and I love good health.
So there’s an example of something that you can do.
You can allow your devil’s advocate to find something that’s not in alignment with you, that you can hold on to, that makes what you have been doing less enticing, less interesting.
Actually, it can create a way for you to not tolerate it, it can create an intolerance for it.
If you don’t do that, if you don’t find the opposing understandings about what you’ve been doing, you’re going to keep doing it.
So when you’re making a commitment, you get to be hook, line and sinker connected to that commitment, so strongly that when all the different things come up, the peripheral things, the easy things that have come up in the past, you say, “Wow, my scales have been tipped, the balance is tipped now, and I can’t see going back to that habit.
It hasn’t been serving me.
Maybe it did initially, but it’s not serving me anymore.
It’s actually working against these four or five other life goals that I have, and visions that I have.”
So you get to figure out how you can be committed.
If it’s not just as easy as saying, “I’m committed to this, I’m doing it,” you get to have conversations like we’ve had about other things within yourself, and come up with basically a thesis.
In a great thesis, somebody has a point that they’re carrying and then they discover and think of all the opposing viewpoints that could show up, and they intelligently have evidence around those things to put those to rest.
So you get to create a good thesis for yourself so that you can commit to your decision.
Yes, you get to treat yourself like you really are.
Treat yourself as the intelligent being that you are, and when the questions arise within yourself or skepticism, answer it, speak to it, acknowledge it, and come up with intelligent responses so that you can buy into your decision making.
One part of you can be committed to what the other part is interested in.
It’s like having a great conversation with a partner or a friend.
You don’t discredit the one and shut it down because the other one is getting defensive.
So, stay open to yourself.
Stay open to your own dialog, and then jump into the Facebook community today and be open, be vulnerable, be intimate.
“Into me you see.”
Share so that you can grow.
It’s for you, when you share, and then it supports others generously.
So tell us today, what’s the habit you’re working on?
What is the comfort that it serves you?
What is the support it’s been giving you, and what is the new direction you want to go on this habit?
And what is the reason, what is the how?
How are you able to commit?
What’s the compelling reason that’s making you commit?
Sending you big love.
Have a beautiful day.