161 Re-writing Your Rules to Succeed

This is Anne with your Coaching on the Go. 

Today is challenge day. 

You get to challenge the rules that you have and ask yourself with each rule, being honest with yourself, “Is this rule really true?”

“Is this serving me?”

“Is this a good rule for me?” 

“Does it set me up for success?” 

If you take one of your rules, for example, family comes first – and then you have your own family – which family is going to come first? 

Pertaining to this same rule, you have your career and other things you are developing.

Someone in your family, maybe your parent, needs something.

You find yourself constantly coming to service and dropping the things that you want to move forward when your family needs something.

When you look at that rule, Family comes first, how can you shift it?

“Is it true?” 

“Should family come first?” 

“Should family come before you?” 

“Is that rule serving you?” 

“Is that belief serving you?” 

So how could you shift it? 

Family is important. 

Family is part of the important things in my life. 

…whatever that could look like.

I had this rule lying deep that, no matter what happens, (my parents are older) no matter what they need, I get to be there. 

I get to drop whatever.

That is most important. 

They will not be here forever. 

My life was pushing me between my parents needing something and my development as a human being. 

It would particularly happen coincidentally, and we know what coincidences are, things colliding together on purpose.

They would seem, as I escalated my learning and started to step into another level of living, a level I hadn’t been at before, new learning, new possibility, new growth, as I would step into next big chapters, for some reason, my very independent parents would need something from me. 

It was actually my mom who typically I felt like was skeptical about my moving forward and being independent in my own business.

She would be the one who needed my support, and I would feel caught between a rock and a hard place, no wiggle room, until, in my leadership, I decided that I liked being able to be there for my parents and for myself, and that I chose it. 

I wasn’t a victim of anything. 

I chose to be there for them and me.

I was going to figure out how to navigate both. 

I shifted my rule.

The rule now says, “I care for my family and myself.” 

What are some of the rules that get you in trouble? 

Are they true for you now? 

Are they ridiculous, or do they make sense?

Today you get to go through the rules you have discovered so far.

There will be more.

It is said that the fewer your rules are, the fewer rules you have, the happier you are. 

Keep that in mind! 

As you go through and consider each rule, ask yourself if it’s still working.

Many of the rules I discovered were obsolete.

When I would feel hurt or discover that a rule had been broken, I would look at it and find out how absurd the rule was, how general it was, and how it was going to kick me in the kneecaps over and over again until I shifted it. 

Instead of adding something else to today’s homework – that’s quite a bit – look at at least one of the rules that has been haunting you and a source of pain, and shift that. 

Either rewrite it, get rid of it, or shift it completely. 

Send me a reply email with it. 

You can either DM me or put it on my LinkedIn page telling us what you learned.

Tell us what your old rule was, what you discovered about it, and what you are going to do with it. 

Looking forward to seeing your email or post on my LinkedIn page. 

Have a beautiful day.